Recently I have found myself reflecting on the nature of my work as a Doula.

I describe myself as one who supports and guides others through change, evolution, life shifts, rights of passage, birthing and dying, beginnings and endings - both literally and metaphorically. It does not matter how big or small it may be measured, to me it is all relevant. It is all valid and worthy of acknowledgement. It is all that can be guaranteed in life. Change.

And while I recognize the scope of my offerings out in the world may seem diverse, I realize that they each assist two things. A gentle release of what is, to let in what is next. Even if what is next is a liminal space, or a void that is left from what may be a great loss. It must eventually occur, even if in a small way, to enable the next to happen; it is an integral and vital part of the process, whether welcome or other.

However that is, there is one thing I have learned. It will always bring with it, no matter how big or small, grief.

Recently, I cut my long hair short. Like, really short. The shortest I have ever cut it, and then a month later, I cut it shorter again. Now I would say, it’s the shortest it could go before getting a buzz cut. It’s the shortest my hair has ever truly been.

And I really wanted to share my experience here as to what it means, my insights, how it has been for me, and perhaps, why.

I am a hairdresser, of some 46 years. Yes, you read that correctly. I started my career as an apprentice hairdresser at 16, in 1980. Now I am 62. While hairdressing is not my main stream income right now, it is still some. Through those years and with all the incredible fashion eras that have passed, I have had, as you can imagine, many style cuts, colours – from darkest black to full head bleached white, purple, burgundy (terrible) highlights, even perms, etc. and while I’ve had short hair, varying styles, I’ve always had it at a length to play with. I would say I’ve been pretty attached to it, being a hairdresser, and knowing how it is an incredible and powerful way to express oneself to the world.

While that remains, exactly two and a half years ago, something happened on the world stage, that hit me like a lightning bolt. That event was not so much October 7th, 2023, but the day after, and every day since, until now…